staring at a blank wall

it turns out to be weird
i have no words
i do not know why
maybe
it could be because
i am willingly trying to erase her memories
and stop thinking about her
the more the words flow out
the more she stays in me
but now i try to let go of her

who am i to forcefully keep her
love does not come out of force
i love her
so i choose to let her go
as she wishes to

the more i think of her and
the more i write my thoughts down
the more she stays alive in

when she is alive in my mind
i am fully convinced she loves me too
there is no other alternative
and i am led to believe this
though i do not feel it when i see her in person

i have to let her die from my mind
then things will be more easier
for me to let her go
as she wishes

therefore now when i see her
i try to feel no emotion
but let pass by like another stranger
butthis numbness
is sometimes killing me
it is disturbing to feel nothing

it is all silence and stillness
and i have nothing to write about it
igot no words to describe
for it is nothing more than
staring at a blank wall

love is painful
it takes courage
it is a battlefield of the mind
enter it with caution